Thanks FourMaggie. I haven't even started step #1... maybe by the time I get to #9 I will be able to. BUT making amends does not mean to forgive and forget. There are somethings I don't think I could ever accept. Infidelity is one of them. My health would be at risk if that has gone on and I go back to having every right to know. Since we can't trust the A to be truthful then by whatever means we can find the truth I think we should. Seems like by doing so I am putting myself first.