Hi Putmeontheair,
Our stories are so similar.
In short, are you in love with the person he is, or the person you hope (and he says) he wants to be? My ExABF did the same thing, promises of change, and assuring me of who he wanted to be, but the actions were never there.
If he is in recovery for the right reasons, he won't be concerned with how you feel about it. From my experience, those who are serious about their recovery do it for themselves, not to appease someone else. You can't force someone into recovery, they have to want it for themselves. Forced recovery leads to resentment, bitterness, and anger, which he has already shown you he has, because you aren't giving him enough credit for what he feels he's done so far.
From what I read on here, it takes months and sometimes years of recovery to find out who we really are, for both alcoholics and alanons. Maybe some time apart would do both of you some good.
Keep coming back!