Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I tend to isolate and try to handle things by myself. That is the time that I get my butt to a meeting. We are powerless over what the alcoholic will do. There is no guarantee that they will not drink and there is no guarantee that they will change. Al-Anon has taught me that I don't have to wait for everyone else to be who I want for me to be happy. If I focus on my recovery, I can begin to find happiness from within. I don't have to be a victim any more. I could never have made those realizations on my own, and I can easily forget them if I try to do this on my own. My group and my sponsor support me. People can always tell us what to do, but learning to make my own decisions, and be responsible for my own happiness has given me the self esteem and self worth that I was missing for most of my life. All it took was being willing to reach out and go to meetings. The rest just fell in place as I was ready. I gave the steps my best effort. I began to apply the slogans to my daily life. I began reading the literature for guidance. I began new healthy relationships with people who understood and supported me. I began to heal. I committed to stay with my husband for a year while I worked on my recovery in Al-Anon. I realize now that I could have married the healthiest man in the world and still been miserable, because happiness doesn't come from the outside. No one could fix what was wrong with me but me, and I couldn't do that alone. At the point we are at when we get to this forum, what have we got to lose by giving Al-Anon a try? What can it hurt? Hugs, Magic