Laurie is correct in what she is saying. The bottom line is this, and with all due respect to your boyfriend, nobody should be telling you you do,
or don't, need Alanon. That decision, and that opinion, is yours and yours alone.
If you want to go, go. If not, don't. However, I will tell you that my personal opinion is that almost anybody can benefit from Alanon, whether in a relationship with an Alcoholic or not. I began going in 2003. My life would have been so, so much better if I'd started going in 1983. One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn't.
Take care, take what you want, and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
laurie6781 
First, the fact that he is in recovery for 12 years is good, especially if they have been continuous. Now, if he is attending AlAnon, in addition to AA like I do, because he has A's in his life (ie parents, siblings, children, and sponsees) great.
When I started attending AlAnon, I was 3 years sober and my husband was 5 years sober, but something was wrong. AlAnon helped me to continue to work on me, and the 'something wrong' eventually revealed itself as him having switched his addiction to gambling.
I have continued with AlAnon all these years, continuing to work on me, as AlAnon has given me a totally different perspective on the 12 steps than AA has, and I do continue to work with AA sponsees.
It certainly will not harm you to try AlAnon, however, I would suggest that you attend different meetings than your boyfriend ....... gives one more freedom to 'open up' in a meeting. In some areas they also have a monthly or bi-weekly meeting of both AA and AlAnon which are quite unique.
I M H O, give it a try, at least 6 different meetings and see if you think you will get any benefit for YOURSELF.
Love and hugs,