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Old 03-31-2011, 02:59 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Thumper
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Waiting for an a-ha moment is OK. It is often said here that we leave when we are ready and not before. If you are never ready, I guess you never leave

I wasn't really waiting for an a-ha moment. I was waiting for something BIG. Something that would scream at me "You have permission to leave now." That is a more self-destructive place to be because sometimes each tiny step towards unacceptable - was only a small step away from what I had been accepting so what might have seemed BIG 10 years ago at the beginning, didn't have much of an impact ya know because we too tiny steps to get there?

It was a lot more then that but this was a considerable part of what kept me stuck for a very long time. It led to a lot of confusion, denial, second guessing myself, and basically ignoring my inner voice that was trying to look out for me. I think al-anon is a great place for you to be and wish I'd have found it long before I did. I didn't start going until after I filed divorce papers and I could have really used it long before that.

Not sure if any of this strikes a cord with you but it popped into my head when I read your post.
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