It can be both, I think...
I spent years running around in a hamster ball in my head trying to figure out which was the real RAH, "will the real RAH please stand up?", LOL..
Truth is, he would say really kind and wonderful things as much as he said horrible things when he was loaded. I came to chalk it all up to being loaded.
What is real? He is an alcoholic.
We talk on here a lot about quacking, which is not limited to when they are drunk....
But like La Tee Da always says, it doesnt matter. Especially in this case.
He was talking about his own daughters body, and that is UNACCEPTABLE under any conditions.
I wish I could say whatever the h*ll I want and put it all on PMS or alcohol. Life would be really easy if I had a scapegoat situation with which to write eveything off to.
I also have had the similar experience as bookwyrm, where I thought he was a big d*ckhead because of alcohol, but, at 6 months sober, he still acts like Larry David sometimes, having limited self editing ability. He does say some of the same myopic, ridiculous, rude, and sometimes highly offensive things...
Do they mean what they say?
I dont know about your A in this situation, but I know that it is nearly impossible to get an authentic communication out of an alcoholic who is active, whether drunk or sober at the time.