I believe you, too.
I think marital therapy is a very bad idea, in general, for people in abusive relationships for this reason in particular. Our family court will not PERMIT joint counseling when there is a restraining order in effect.
I don't know how anyone can engage in useful therapy with an abuser. You cannot be open and honest during the sessions out of fear of what that will get you.
Therapy in these situations HAS to be done separately, IMO.