flipdog

For the past 6 months, I have been dating a 12 year recovering alcoholic. He attends AA and Alanon meetings regularly and is dedicated to the 12 steps. I have been to a few open AA meetings with him and recently attended my first Alanon meeting with him as well. Our relationship is getting pretty serious, and we both love each other. I've asked him if he needs or wants for me to attend Alanon meetings for (or with) him, but he has suggested that I don't need them. Is this true? Or possible? I would consider myself lucky in that I didn't have to witness the destruction and misery he caused his family when he was active. I didn't know him when he was drinking, and I hope I never know him in that sense. As a sober man, he is the most wonderful man I have ever met.

My main question is whether Alanon would even benefit me or not. I am not opposed to attending his monthly open AA meetings with him. I am just curious if this is enough or if I need to talk to other women/men who are romantically involved with alcoholics. It appears that many of the Alanons that I have met were in relationships with their husbands/wives before they quit drinking. I haven't met anyone in my similar situation, where they met and fell in love with the long-recovering alcoholic. Advice?