Strongenuf -
I had almost the same exact discussion with my AH this weekend (minus him asking for sex, my AH knows better than to go there!!!)... to me, it's his attempt to suck me back in. To placate me and make this whole thing blow over. In the past, it would have worked, but not now because I'm am very keenly aware of the cycle and that we've been doing this "dance" for 10 years!!
It's okay to separate yourself in order to break the cycle. If he really does change, you won't know it for months. Let him show you with sustained action, from a distance. Words mean nothing. Listen to the actions.
This is where I'm at with it. My AH's family wants us to do marital counseling, which I think is a waste. AH needs to work on his stuff, separate and apart from me... and maybe someday, we can talk about the marriage... after I've seen sustained "action"... not just his half-ass acts of contrition.