Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
I actually posted the therapy question to the alcoholism forum and did not get one positive response, although many thanked me for hanging in there with the RAH. No one thought it was a good idea until the RAH had been in recovery for at least a year. We tried anyway with a great therapist - LMFT with an addictions specialty... and I think the RAH liked it. But I didn't...imagine that. I couldn't sit there and listen to him QUACK! And the therapist had me come in alone and told me this...unless I can find some patience with the RAH's process, this would not be successful. My response: we're done for now, cause I don't have the patience and I have my own issues to work through myself.
I canceled any future sessions and stick to AA for him and Al-Anon for me, knowing I can go back to that when some real honesty is able to occur. Until then... pffft...waste of time.
The EXABF and I tried joint therapy-had 6 sessions paid for by his work. The first session was fine, the rest of them went downhill as ABF deflected everything back to me. When the therapist called him on it, he walked out of the session and refused to go back. At the time, he was sober but not going to AA (to him,a cult and waste of time). I had been going to Al-Anon for quite some time and the therapist complimented me on that.
Since then, (last summer) he has been to a psychiatrist (who called him on his s**t) - he refused to go back, a men's addiction group (too many "addicts), group therapy for anxiety and depression (didn't apply to him)
and now..well, he is going it alone as I have pulled the plug on our relationship.