Like others, it is hard to pin point the time table. I know when I came here, we were separated for a year and asking him to leave at that time was more like the recognition that I was living in limbo. We still saw each other and yet after 8 months he got sober. After 6 months of sobreity we planed to have him move back home. Two months later, we were barely talking to each other and he was no longer sober. We struggled fiercely to keep the rel together but a few months later I couldn't take it any longer and asked for no contact for awhile. It was recommended by our therapist as a means to break the limbo. Well, it eventually did just that - one and half years later - we are weeks away from finalizing our divorce.
But for how long was I in limbo before asking him to leave? IDK. Yes I do, he was sober for almost a year before we married. He relapsed on the honeymoon, less than a year later he was in AA. I thought then that all would be well. When he relapsed after three months I knew then it was only a matter of time. I set a deadline for leaving but it passed. I set another one and it passed. In time, I got more detached and distant. When the day came that i said he had to go - he asked this question of me - " what can I do to change your mind - I am willing to do anything you ask - I don't want to let go" I thought a lot and couldn't come up with anything that give me the confidence that it would be ok again. So I told him that I couldn't come up with anything this time. Limbo, it is a word. When you stop it is up to you. In your time. You will know.