How can taking a vow of marriage in sickness and in health remain relative when the sickness is by choice?? Certainly refusing treatment for a brain tumor would be a choice made for many reasons, but then would the bearer of the tumor force the suffering on the family or attempt to lead the best quality of life they could.
I struggled with the idea of my EX being ill and turning my back on him. When I realized there was choice involved that changed my thinking. He chose in full knowledge to remain ill and not seek treatment. He also chose to make his illness a burden to his family and friends.
When I had a cold, he stayed away to avoid catching it rather than provide any nursing of me and to him that was defense of my imposing my cold upon him. When I stayed away to avoid the abuse his alcoholism fostered, he called that abandonment.
Discussion abounds on these boards over addiction being a disease, but is addiction really what marriage vows were written to encompass? Somehow, I don't think so.
You're having a rough one, and for that I'm sorry. Please hang on to the positives today. It is just one day and you can start anew tomorrow. The clouds do part and the sun does shine.
Alice