just having a rough day...
after my conversation this weekend with my husband, I happened to see him on the highway on the way home. I actually had to merge in front of him. He hung back and got lost in traffic-COWARD. But I keep having this overwhelming feeling of sadness because I realize how sick he is- not just the alcohol but I think he has a real mental illness.
Its like watching someone who has a brain tumor who does not want treatment.
I know it is a good thing that we are separated because I would be so obsessed with trying to make him better. The distance makes it easier not to focus on him and focus on me instead.
I just keep thinking about my marriage vows and how I promised "in sickness and in health.".
I have let him know I am here for him if he wants to talk and have not called or made contact unless there is a house related matter. I will email him occasionally with information and trust that he reads it but don't expect a response. I am letting him call the shots.
It's what he wants, its what is healthy for me.
I'm just feeling sad at the situation and how there is nothing I can do..