I hear you! I'm in the same boat! Married 8 mths, want to start a family (but will not), putting my life on hold... ugh! so frustrating. I go to 2 meetings a week plus counseling one day, he maybe makes 1 meeting a week and counseling every other week. I think I am just preparing myself with the tools to leave. How embarrassing though, divorced before the one year mark! My counselor said also if he makes it through treatment and stays in recovery it will be awesome. Not sure I am in for that long haul! Try separating. I have. It is a wonderful feeling! Not that I don't have weak moments, had one last night... but no chaos in the house... doesn't get much better then that after I work my butt off too. BTW, I got 2 dozen roses with my hard earned money - he should have paid down on the credit card he ran up in my name!
I'm out to Al-Anon too! No advice just know you are not alone!