Terry,
I am sure what you read obviously upset you very much. The truth does hurt and so does betrayal.
I do not know what vows you took, but mine went something along the lines of "Love Honor Trust" By snooping, you have not honored his provacy, and you certainly do not trust his recovery.
Notice my vows do not have the words "Obey" oh yes, those were specifically deleted and I most certainly corrected the clergy when she said OBEY!