So true, Lexiecat, so true.
In the beginning, my rabf thought that Al-anon was a place where I would learn how to help him stop drinking. Truth is, I guess I thought the same thing.
Now he thinks it should be to help us learn how to understand and support our As through what they are dealing with in recovery. I was sure to clarify that al-anon has absolutely nothing to do with our As and everything to do with us.
Without the tools I have gained in Al-anon and here, I would not be with him; I could not be. As it is, we are happy, living apart now, enjoying time together, no plans or promises for anything else.