I'm really connecting with this post, too.
I have a lot of "I wish he woulds" in my head and heart, too.
On the other hand, I keep bringing up the past, too.
That is NOT getting me anywhere.
We have gone over it ten million times.
He doesn't see it my way.
He won't.
He won't validate me.
He just WON'T.
I can't make him.
I can't wheedle him, convince him, sneak up on him, bash him, stonewall him, sweet talk him into validating me.
That is SOSOSO hard to accept.
I'll walk away from it for a MONTH, then feel wistful, then call, then bring it all back up, then fight, then feel sad for two days.
Holy merry go round, batman!
We gotta stop.
We have to stop wanting/hoping/expecting them to be and think and feel something they are not.
Let it go, FP. Let it go.
What you hear:
Your always going to hold it over my head. Your daughter made her own choices.
I will not take the blame for this forever. Your a un-happy person. You need to
pray for serenity. Its in the past and I cant change it, so get over it....
IS quacking. It IS denial of responsibility on his part...
but it is also true (for me in my situation).
I DO hold it over his head. I do blame. I am unhappy about this. I do need serenity. It is in the past and I can't change it.
Nor can I change him today.
But I also can't accept a partner that won't take responsibility.
I HAVE to walk away.
Hugs to us both.
peace