Thank you all for confirming that I am not crazy or responsible for his actions. I really do get confused sometimes, even when I know whats right and whats not, the manipulitive words get stuck in my thaught process.
He is not in recovery and has no intentions in being in recovery, so having a dry house was never brought up to the table. I need to live my life, and I know I drink responsibly. I know my friends and family drink responsibly. And I know that most "normal" people enjoy a casual drink or two with friends, having a dry party just sounds so stuffy to me. I am a social person, and I love my friends and love to laugh and have a good time with them. We have gone the dry party route on occasion and the atmosphere that it creates leaves everyone walking on egg shells and feeling uncomfortable.
Here is the Codie in me speaking.... I can not call the police because I know he will do atleast 18 months if he gets another Domestic charge against him. For me, I feel like that would be punishing my children for his actions...They deserve to have dad in thier life. But I also deserve to feel safe and happy.
It was scary, I do not like being scared. My children witnessed most of it, although I tried so hard to aim thier attention elsewhere. This is what I am scared of most. I do not want my children to witness the fighting, with DSS already involved I am scared.
I considered getting a restraining order against him, but again the Codie in my rears her head "but where will he go? He is unemployed, we are broke". He is expected to start working this week, and I am trying to make it clear to him that once he gets his first check he needs to go.
I do not think its working, he keeps texting me about dinner plans? And working out after work "as a family".