Here's a quote from Dr. Laura:
"I clarify to people that there is a difference between an 'event' and a 'pattern'. In an event, for which a person is truly sorry, there is room for forgiveness and even a continuation of intimacies. Where there is a pattern, the other person is simply dangerous and destructive, and apologies are manipulations to keep you around to hurt some more."
I think this is why the thread triggers me - I have had very few "sorry's" and lot of continued revenge, blame, denial and betrayal...definitely a pattern going on here. I have no intention of forgiving him unless he happens to do some serious amends for his behavior, and actions follow those amends. If not, then maybe I can learn to forgive for myself sometime in the future.
Don't try to force something that isn't real, BobbyJ.
Another great quote:
"Time is the smart part of life. Time reveals character. Time permits healing and growth. Time gives perspective. Time if one of life's greatest embraces"