As you may know I am new to understanding how to handle myself around my AH, but I can tell you, you did NOTHING wrong having a beer and laughing with your friends. Alcohol is everywhere and your AH needs to not drink because it is what is best for HIM. No one makes an A drink! You may want to chose to have a dry house, but that would be your choice. He had NO right to make you feel like you did something wrong. In fact his behavior only points to the fact that he has a drinking problem. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to shut the door when he told you he was going to drive into a wall.
Over the summer we had friends over twice and both times my AH decided he felt left out because everyone else was drinking and decided to sneak and drink. Only he wasn't so great at it this time and I knew. At first I felt a little guilty because it was there under his nose, but off and on we are around situations just like that and he has indicated it wasn't an issue for him. So why these times? Honestly I think he drank the other times too and just lied to me. It comes back to if they are going to drink, they will make any excuse to do it.
Perhaps if he is taking sobriety seriously and requests to not have alcohol around the house I think it is a good thing to support that. BUT you can't change the rest of the world.
When I was pg with our last child I had gestational diabetes... AH would make himself a nice big bowl of ice cream and eat it right in front of me. I never demanded to have a sugar free house nor did I get all irritated when others ate things I couldn't have. I knew it was not good for me or my baby so I did what I had to do. Not an addiction but I think you see my point. Sugar is everywhere and it was up to me to do the right thing.
Hugs to you. I hope your day is better than yesterday.