Help!!!!
I just joined this sight and have been just reading so this is my first post. I have an AH his DOC has in the past has been meth but is now past 3-4 years been whiskey. We have been together for almost 19 years now.....not all fun. So his last time drunk in front of me was Wednesday, he drank on Thursday didn't get totally drunk (good buzz). Wednesday we fought really bad as usual he gets verbually abusive and says mean nasty things. Don't get me wrong I can give it right back, after all I've had 19 years to learn from the best. Of course for me it is all a front, defense mechanism so to speak. The next day I was really depressed over the fight. He called several times from work (did I mention he was a functional addict) and could tell by my voice I was really down. So, he shows up couple hours later with flowers, chocolate, and a card apologizing. Yippee....just what I needed chocolate to make me fat, flowers that are already dying like my love for him and a card with someone else’s thoughts and feelings in it. Didn't matter, I cried and hugged him and said thank you and I'm sorry too. Why fight when you don't have to, right. So, anyways that night when he gets home from work he tells me he is going to quit drinking so much. We are talking almost a bottle a night; he takes a few breaks here and there to catch up on his strength and sleep. So he has plans with friends in California, flies out on Friday not to be back until Tuesday. Great I'm thinking a break...yay me!!! So anyways when he gets back from California he is going to buy a small bottle on Saturday drink it on Sunday and when he is out he's out. Can't buy liquor here on Sundays and he won't drink beer.
So here is my problem....He is thousands of miles away, every phone conversation he has been drunk. I asked him when he was the least drunk not to call me anymore; I'll see him when he gets back. No good, keeps calling. So my little break has been stressful every time the phone rings I about jump out of my skin. So here is where it gets bad. I was out of the house returning movies and he calls. He is extremely drunk and is riding with his friend’s friend and they were following other friends and got lost. So, he asked me to pull up a map to help him get to where they are going. I can't I am driving. Ok he says just hurry up and get home I need your help. So I pull over and use my cars gps to get the address and phone number for the hotel they are needing to get to. (all the while he is calling every 10 seconds asking if I'm home yet) I guess that wasn't good enough, just hurry and get home I don't have nothing to write with. (or more like too drunk to write) So, I get home pull up a map find out where he is and he's like 15 miles past the hotel. Now he is mad I told you to hurry, hope your happy, blah blah blah. I was already mad and didn't want to help anyways kinda seems to me like enabling??? idk??? So, he calls back seconds later and is yelling and screaming I hope you are happy I'm on the side of the interstate I jumped out of the vehicle dude I'm with wanted to go home (hours away from where he is now) and I got friends staying here. I ask why didn't you just have him stop somewhere for you? (I guess I should've asked if he was hurt, but I imagine it was a lie) Because we already stopped once and the cops was there and told us to stay put they was busy with something else and I told dude to get out of here before we got in trouble. Brilliant...so last I heard from him he found a Starbucks (one on every corner...lol) and was waiting for other friends to pick him up (who are drunk also)
He threatened to jump out in front of vehicles, end it all. It is all my fault what does he have to live for if I won't even help him out. What took me so long to get home was you at your boyfriend's house. Why did you do this to me? I don't ask for much.
I need help I realize that I can't keep doing this on my own so here is my first step!