Oh I am definitely getting the flack... and I felt my pulse quicken and physically felt the same I have for so long but I controlled my reaction and that made all the difference. It used to be that if I felt upset by something he said I HAD to respond bc to let the words/accusations be said without defending myself, well, that is what I had to do as a kid whose mom abused her and there was NO way I was going to do that now... But all that reacting to my H got me was more abuse-- It took me long enough but I finally figured out that my changing my reaction wasn't about doing that so HE would act differently, it was doing it so that I would feel better... Such a simple concept but until it clicked in me I really didn't get it at all... So glad I do now..