Neo! I wish I'd seen this earlier in the day - my heart goes out to you for all that you've been through.
I remember your posts leading up to this - how the warm weather was getting to you, & many of us agreed. You've overcome so many temptations - but this one time it was just too much for you to fight against. Yet you have so much to be proud of, including coming here and talking about what happened.
The last time I went on a binge I was completely out of control. I didn't stop myself the way you did - it lasted 3 wks. I barely made it out alive. After I came out of the fog, I knew I was done - I needed that one last time to prove it to myself. I had more resolve, and less bitterness after that.
You're going to win this war, Neo.