Originally Posted by
Chino 
I started telling her (and admitting to myself) that I could not help her because I had not walked in her shoes. I started reminding her she had the tools and resources, it was all up to her to use them.
I've been telling him that since we were dating. Back then I was in therapy and after learning about his childhood neglect and abuse, I recommended he get a therapist too. He has stood on the premise that I was his best friend and could talk to me about anything. Last week when he decided to go to detox again, I reiterated what I'd told him 8 years ago as we discussed AA. My parents weren't addicts and alcoholics. I didn't have to deal with poverty and neglect because of it and I although I can relate to not having my dad consistently in my life, it wasn't due to alcohol and incarcerations. I reminded him of what he once said about only a person whose been thru what he's been thru being able to talk to him about things. I can only pray he really understood as he said he did.
My sponsor wanted me to choose between me and my AH. I kinda understand that but when she said I needed to divorce him to do that red flags went up. I'm good with the separation and I thought I shouldn't make big decisions until at least 6 months into my recovery especially since I'm prone to emotionally-driven impulsive decision-making. There were other things but this one was the deal breaker for me.