passionfruit

The last few weeks have been remarkable to say the least.

I left my AH in January. I moved out on faith. I had no job. I put in applications online daily and did some interviews, but the process was slow. So at some point in the last month, I knocked doors and talked myself into a couple part time jobs to hold me over til I could get a real job. Some money coming in was better than none. I live in a metropolitan area, so there are literally hundreds of businesses within a mile of me. One I wound up at was a dog grooming shop cleaning up at the end of the day for a couple hours 3 days a week.

I got a real job (YEAAA!) and told the owner of the dog grooming shop thank you so much for your help... and said I would keep in touch with her.

The second job was at mom and pop retail shop. I just did whatever needed to be done just a few days a week. The two businesses were side by side. I was at the retail shop one day and got to talking to the owner and discovered she was a distant neighbor (a block away) of my AH.

The next morning the retail shop owner said she did not need me anymore. I asked could I ask why, she said "No.", just that I needed to take my pay and leave. I was shocked and crying. All I could think was: what had AH been spreading about me?

I had left videos on 2 neighbors doors who my AH actually spoke to in an attempt to let them see who he really is.

I had no contact with them after that. I thought they hated me because of the stuff AH told me. I gave in and called one of the neighbors because I needed to know what I was up against. She basically told me they know who he is. I was woman # 3 who they knew of who had told the exact same story. They had to live next to him (and had for 16 years) and never believed his bs but at the same time they would probably live next to him for many years and simply needed to be careful how they handled situations where he was concerned.

In the midst of our conversation, she mentions she saw wife # 2 earlier in the year working at a close by businesss.

I hunted this woman down. She was very nice on the phone. I told her I just wanted to ask was he abusive? With no hesitation at all, she said Yes. If I press charges will she write a statement attesting to such fact? Yes. Does she have any police reports to help with this? Yes one in the summer 2000 she thinks.

Then out of the blue, she says to me. "He's a pedophile, you know."

I nearly cried.

I said I know and Thank You and I am so glad I talked to you and on and on I went. I knew I wasn't crazy, or imagining this sh**.

She said she caught him on the computer numerous times talking to 14 year old girls in the middle of the night.

She confirmed everything I already knew in such detail, it was eery. It was like a dream. His abusive MOas well as the emotional and gaslighting.

I was at a fork in my mind. I had no proof of pedophilia, but I had proof of the abuse. So I began to ponder should I press charges?

I just started a job and the wife # 2 I spoke to has cancer and only a year to live. If I was going to act, it would have to be soon. So I asked God for the answer.

The next day I dropped by AH's thinking he was at work to pick up some things I had left. He was home. I went in anyway.

His eyes were swollen, he did not know why. His hands were swollen. When I saw him like that it scared me. I drove him to the dr. Dr said probably an allergic reaction to something he ate, watch and see.

While this is happening, I mention wife # 2 casually. He says did you meet here? I was stunned. How would I even know where to find her?

Wife # 2 worked at the dog grooming shop where you worked for those few days. I told him he was lying. No. call the owner and ask.

I did. 10 years before me Wife # 2 married the same man I did and went to the same dog grooming shop and worked there. What are the odds?

The owner told me that wife #2 was an alcoholic and a customer found her passed out one afternoon so she had to fire her.

I was perplexed to say the least.

At this point, I decided that maybe wife #2 could probably be shredded by a good attorney and that would invalidate her testimony.

So I decided to just walk away from AH.

The next week he goes to the bar and calls me at 2 am all weekend long, 4 days in a row. I ignore the calls.

When he was sober, I told him I am not answering your 2 am calls. I want more for myself. Fix yourself or leave me alone.

He immediately does an about face. I just walk away and tell him sure you will change.

It has taken everything I have to not tell him I KNOW the truth about who he is, about wife #2's confirmation of that.


The last time I was with him, (dr visit) we stopped and ate on the way home, and he was making eye contact and other subtle manipulations toward another 13/14 year old in a short skirt.

It's like the anger in me has come back and shot out of this world the last few days now that I know the truth. I called him yesterday and said something ugly. He hung up. It was not about what I know. I just want to yell at him. I want him to KNOW I know the truth. That he is fooliing noone.

I think telling him would put me at a disadvantage if I chose to pursue this. Not to mention what he might do when he's drinking, as he will again.

I want to lash out at him. It is killing me walking away, but I don't think I have the energy to fight him in court anymore. To push this where it should go.

He is so manipulative and he has gotten away with it for so long that I think I will lose this battle.

I want him to know that I KNOW he is a lier and a pedophile. I want to yell in his face what scum he is.

Btw: I told the pastor at the church about the pedophilia thing and his response was well, they are 14, it's not like they are 6. Pedophilia is not the right term: I could not believe he said it. Do men see it differently than we do because they are turned on by teenage girls? All these girls are like boards, no boobs, no shape, so I don't get it...how is it different? A child is a child in my mind.

I hate this man.

enough tears for now.