This isnt to sound like im shooting Al-Anon down or anyhting, but i cant attend a group because i have social anxiety. My sister wont even go to the doctor to talk about her issues and the steps she can take. She is stubbern like that and wont do anything that is in her best interests.
See the thing is...when my mum was living here she was physically and mentally abusive. I worry that my sister is going through this on her own now.
For example tonight my mum was drinking. I had already told her i was droping down (i was only going down for my sis really & i hadnt actully been down in a long time either). I went down for 45mins as i couldnt stay there - no way. I wanted my sis to come home with me but there was no talking to her. So i took on board that there was nothing i could physically do and left.
I dont care about my mum, f**k her, it is my lil sis i want to protect. I will find it REALLY dificult to just let her go down all the time but hey, what can i do? I have come to realise...nothing is the only answer.
I have told her about this site and told her i think she would find reading about things very interesting and helpful for her. I have also told her how i am coping much better with mum too and tried to encourage her to do the same things as me. I also just give her lil tips on things she can do to her herself.
Originally Posted by
Buffalo66 
Does your sister even recognize openly that there is a drinking problem?
If so, is she old enough to understand that?
Oh yes, there is no hiding the fact that my mum is an alcoholic. She is old enough to understand that too, yes. I think slowly she may find her way of dealing with my mum, as i did.
When i think of how i was at her age i hadnt found the best ways to deal with things were, but as another year or two went on i became to the realization that nothing would change if i didnt. So i changed my responce to my mum (still have much difficulty, but i can mange her better then b4) and am hoping she can too...in her own time (i would prefer it to be sooner rather than later tho!!)
Originally Posted by
nodaybut2day There really is no way to make anyone "realize" anything. You can shout yourself blue in the face or write a hundred letters/emails.
Since you've already established a boundary about your sister's drinking, then perhaps it's time to step away from her and her enablers, whoever they may be. You can still have a relationship with your sister, just not when she's drinking.
I think you didnt understand my post well. I was asking about making my sis realising that being arounf my alcoholic mum will do her more harm.
But thanks anyway !!!