Originally Posted by
CheekyAngel 
I know what you mean by having to go over the past again and again...but you know there might be something you missed and having to talk about it again may bring up a repressed memory that may help you to mave on with anxiety. I know some of our anxieites stem from our childhood (or lack of!), and a memory may be holding you back that you may be unconcious of.
But the past is not the present and the present is where you are finding it difficult to cope now?
Well, I know that the things I went through growing up definitely contributed to the state I'm in now, but I guess I'm just at a point where I want to accept my past and move on with the present. It seems kind of pointless to sit around asking yourself 'how did I get here?' when the question I really want the answer to is 'how do I get out of here?'
Originally Posted by
CheekyAngel I am already slightly dependant to xanax. I use it roughly 2ce a week to go volunteering. Without them, i couldnt attend. But if i get back into college there is a possibility i may take them mon-fri. I will try not take any going in the first day, so i will have less of a chance taking then the second day, and everyday after that too. I think if i take them once it may leave me taking them twice and so on.
So i worry about both, denendancy and addiction...
I can't speak for everyone, but I can tell you about my own experience.
The first day of college I was petrified, but I hadn't been prescribed Xanax yet so I didn't have the option of taking any. After around a week or two I just got used to being there and the anxiety diminished. I think that exposure to a situation desensitizes you after a while, so if you can stick it out for the first bit you'll be better off.
I only tried taking Xanax on a regular basis once - for a month - someone told me that it would be more effective if I took it daily. I was taking either 0.25 or 0.5 mg (can't remember) morning and night. It wasn't helping as much as I thought it would so I went off it, and I had around 2 1/2 weeks of withdrawal even from that relatively low dose. You have to be really careful with that stuff.
Originally Posted by
CheekyAngel I dont mind the tiredness because i can get through events. I feel when i do something i would not usually do because of the anxiety i am pleased, but sad i had to take xanax.
Yeah - I hear you. I also find that it's difficult to plan around it. It doesn't allow for much spontaneity in life if you have to plan everything around taking a pill.
Originally Posted by
CheekyAngel How long you sober? Well done, keep at it. It can only get better for you...
I've been sober around 3 1/2 weeks now. That's the longest I've gone without a drink in about 5 years. I know it will get better - it already has.