Originally Posted by
inahaze 
...Now, I think that at least my AH was a jerk before the drink and I was just wearing rose colored glasses and never saw it. Looking back, there were signs that something wasn't right, but I was so in love that I just didn't want to look. For him, the alcohol intensified his aggression. It made him run off at the mouth easier and made a wonderful excuse for him the next morning...
-alcohol intensified his aggression- I think that says alot. Without the alcohol or drugs he probably can control himself a little better. Not because he really wants to but because he knows it is wrong. There is still probably a mindset or attitude that tells him it's ok to scream, bully etc.
I don't buy that drugs & alcohol by themselves turn someone into a criminal, liar or abuser etc. Most of these individuals already had this capability in them. Not potential but actually thought about doing many of these things at one time or another but were able to control their urges even wether it was the law or peer pressure. Throw in some shaky sober beliefs, morals and experiences it's too easy for some to cross the line. The alcohol & drugs from what I've heard take away impulse control or that line. Remember many addicts etc had to cross a line to even start abusing drugs most of which were illegal or criminal behavior.
This is why I think rehab has got to emphasize the gravity of one's actions while abusing. Too me it should be pounded into someones head as why & what they did was wrong.