Welcome to the forum Xelestial!
Have a read through the Sticky posts at the top of the forum - these are threads that have been put in the stickies because of the collective wisdom found there. When I first read through them I realised I wasn't alone and my story was not unique! Real eye opening stuff.
To find out more about alcoholism, I read a book called Under the Influence. It really helped me understand what was going on.
To find out how to could regain my own sanity, I read Co-dependent No More by Melody Beattie. If you only do one thing from my list, get yourself a copy of this and read it!!