Thanks for all the insights everyone! I feel so much better tonight. You all made me realize several things...
When I begin to get anxious, sad, and fearful its when I'm more concerned with what he's doing, his program, his plans, his recovery. All things I can't control!! I told my BF tonight why I thought I was upset yesterday and it was because I have trouble separating what I "need" for me (which I can control), from what I "want" for him (I can't control). And when i get into uncontrollable land, or his life, I get worried, anxious. It is a hard hard boundary for me to separate, and always has been. This is a pattern in my life and I hope I can uncover it finally! It has spoken a lot to my anxiety in life though...
To the several people above who said essentially "don't get caught up in labels"... I completely agree with you. I guess where I got sidetracked there is because I know I have heard my BF say before that he "knows" his drinking is problematic, but, at times he still seems to be on the fence between "I can't imagine my life without alcohol, and I can't imagine my life without GF." I had seen a lot of progress in him over the last few weeks that I guess I assumed he had come down on one side of the fence. (I hate to, and try not to assume, but it has become apparent that we need some improvement in our communication!) And so, I realize that I have to be more patient, and keep seeing his progress as progress. its just tough to get overwhelmed by the big picture sometimes. Especially as someone mentioned above, if denial is still present, the cycle repeats eventually. But it did not today!! One day at a time never meant so much in my life as it does now. And my BF seems to be taking things one day at a time... he can teach me a thing or two!
And lastly, I need to be good to myself. Maybe step it up a notch with the alanon. I got a mani/pedi today, but I *nearly* cried at the horrendous elevator music they were playing. hahah, im definitely in emotional overdrive! But after coming here and talking with BF, i really do feel better. Thanks everyone for the support and kind words.