I think that is a codependency type of response.
Feeling "mean" when maybe you are just feeling intense stuff. As long as you don't act out what those mean feelings are then maybe it is ok?
My therapist said I have a problem with showing my anger: "I'm really mad! But not 'that' mad and is it ok that I am mad? Please don't be upset..."
Sad isn't it. It is codependency speaking.