He is pretty early into his recovery work still. So the focus has to be on that. Relationships involve emotions; recovery is about handling emotions in healthy ways. He is re-learning how to 'feel' things so maybe that is why it seems like he isn't as 'excited' to be around you. It may take every bit of his capacity to spend the time with you because of how hard he is working on himself.
Seeing as you guys consider yourselves IN a relationship with all its ups and downs, it seems like you've given up the control of the relationship to him (per your sponsers well meaning suggestions) about when to call, letting him do it.. etc. That is sort of like walking around on eggshells. Recovery is about working out solutions to his life's problems; not about other's cushioning life for him. I find your sponsor's advice not so on the mark in that regard. It doesn't seem to address your need for more time, better communcation etc. If he cannot give you those things, whether you call first or not won't make a darn bit of difference. But that is just my opinion.
Relationships are about reciprocity right now my RABF cannot give back so then that is when I re-evaluate why I am in this. Again, that is just me and my situation. I am at the "I'll leave you be to recovery and when you need me, you know where I'll be" stage. He could NOT have a true relationship as I NEED at this point because I am about both people being fully participating in the relationship equally. I had to let go of things and am not sure what will emerge when he is done with treatment but that is because I was tired of feeling like I was doing all the giving and getting crumbs back.
Just ton't let go of what YOUR needs are to protect his recovery, that is my point. Cuz that isn't what YOUR recovery should be about.
But you are being very very patient and supportive and he is LUCKY to have you. Stay YOU!