Callie... don't know if you're still on or out the door and into your weekend...
But I want to second what Noday has said... you need to be scared. You're in a situation that is escalating fast. You need him out of the house, and in NY that is done with an A Order of Protection. You have all the evidence you need to get that (police reports of violence)... take that to the Town Judge and get the Order, today, NOW. And then get your DS and get to a DV shelter. If your son is home with the ABF, ask for a cop escort to go home and get him.