After all these years, the physical attraction and passion still exists between me and me AH. That is why it is so difficult when he is drinking. It is an absolute boundary for me though that I will not engage in sex with him when he has been drinking. It just makes me feel so cheap. He's into a weeklong binge now so I'm sleeping alone. But went out with friends last night for a relaxing evening of good food and great conversation. Actually didn't even think of him until I started home. I am making progress.