Originally Posted by
bevin 
Yeahhhh...me too. I've had people point it out to me actually. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street feeling perfectly all right and I'll catch a glimpse of my reflection - it looks like I'm walking around with a cartoon thundercloud above my head. I really can't figure out why my face is such an inaccurate reflection of what I'm feeling.
I have had it pointed out to me too. This only makes me more paronoid, thinking im not just imagining it! I was in the gym a while ago and when on the treadmil theres a mirror in front of you. I was observing myself, how i walk etc. I didnt feel like i looked bad. But as soon as the mirror is taken away from me...thats it back to paronoia!!!
Also what helps for me personally is if i am holding something like a bottle of water in my hands, just so i can use a distraction (distraction is not the right word but i cant think of what the word is !!). I feel it balances me out or something ha!!
Originally Posted by
bevin Well, until recently I never left the house without gum and...sunglasses.
I cant wear sunnies...my head is to small ha! I look out of porportion!!! I wish i could though, but then id become dependant on them haha !!
Originally Posted by
bevin I've also been to a couple of therapists that weren't much help. The problem is that most of them believed that I hated myself or my life or that I needed to talk about my past traumas. None of that did any good because this panic thing is really just like a knee jerk reaction for me.
I know what you mean by having to go over the past again and again...but you know there might be something you missed and having to talk about it again may bring up a repressed memory that may help you to mave on with anxiety. I know some of our anxieites stem from our childhood (or lack of!), and a memory may be holding you back that you may be unconcious of.
But the past is not the present and the present is where you are finding it difficult to cope now?
Originally Posted by
bevin ...Are you worried about becoming dependent or addicted?
...It's a pain in the ass to be that tired during the day when you have sh*t to do.
...I do rely on it for a sense of safety though, which could be considered dependence. I'm hoping that will change after a couple months of not drinking
I went to my doctor today to renew my pescription for xanax. My next step is a psychairtrist. I dont want to be on meds but im not letting anxiety beat me. Im going to keep trying every option that is available to me...
I am already slightly dependant to xanax. I use it roughly 2ce a week to go volunteering. Without them, i couldnt attend. But if i get back into college there is a possibility i may take them mon-fri. I will try not take any going in the first day, so i will have less of a chance taking then the second day, and everyday after that too. I think if i take them once it may leave me taking them twice and so on.
So i worry about both, denendancy and addiction...
I dont mind the tiredness because i can get through events. I feel when i do something i would not usually do because of the anxiety i am pleased, but sad i had to take xanax.
How long you sober? Well done, keep at it. It can only get better for you...
Take Care