Good lord, more and more similarities show up. XAH had/has no problem going out of his way (sometimes literally 100s of miles out of his way) to help 'friends' that he'd met a couple times, but helping out with something at home (ours or his dad's even) was a huge imposition and my even asking earned me a weekend or weeks of silent, angry pouts.
Wow- are you married to my H?! Seriously-- he will drop everything-- his kids, me, any responsibilities where he doesn't get public credit to go do something for someone who he has fooled he is a saint-- not bc he wants to help but bc he LIVES and breathes for the praise... He actually has told me for years that my telling him I appreciate him is not sufficient-- he needs and deserves PRAISE and I do not give it to him. And do you know what? I took it seriously until recently and believed he was right and that I ought to be praising him profusely and should have been if I'd been a good wife.
SICK SICK SICK (me that is)