zoogirl

Sorry, I know this isn't alcoholism but there wasn't a gambling specific forum for friends and family. Anyway, here's the deal...

I met my boyfriend online about 4 months ago. We hit it off right away - he's funny and intelligent, we have a great time together, and the physical chemistry is very strong. Despite this, I felt like there was something off about him. I couldn't put my finger on it but one night I started piecing things together...insomnia, disappearing for days, weird cash flow issues (wads of cash at times while no money at all at others). My thought was drugs so I confronted him. He's actually a compulsive gambler and has been for years, but no one in his life knew the extent of his problem. I ended things immediately. But we started emailing back and forth and then saw each other again - stayed up all night talking and he told me his story, etc. He recently told his family, attended his first gambler's anonymous meeting, and started 1-on-1 therapy. He's doing all the right things but we haven't been together long and I'm at a loss over what to do.

My life is pretty much in order - I don't gamble (save the occasional round of bingo with my grandma) or have substance abuse problems, I have a good job, and consider myself pretty emotionally healthy. I've been in therapy for about a year and feel like I know myself and my issues; I'm in a good place. He says I'm a very good influence on his life, but I'm worried that dating him would put my stable life at risk. He swears it's OK for us to continue dating because we were already dating when he started GA, but I worry about our relationship putting stress on him and his sobriety.

I really like him and my instincts tell me he's a good guy. I know if we stay together the road won't be easy, but he seems to have a good support system. My friends think I should run the other way. Am I stupid to stay with him and believe that he can change?

Any advice or personal experiences are appreciated.