threewishes

I found out yesterday that AH has relapsed in his addiction (probably drinking too) - and it's been going on for a while. He's working out of town this week and next and was so excited to leave, of course, so he could be free to do as he wants without me looking over his shoulder. Many things that have happened in the past few weeks make sense now. I just feel resigned at this point. My counselor, my friends, were right - he's not going to change. Don't know why I was holding on to that little shred of hope...but it's gone now. Everything he's told me has been lies on top of lies....all along. And to think I was absolutely heartbroken last weekend and seriously contemplating staying....

I met his sister for dinner last night and was having a good time until we started talking about him, at which point it became real obvious that she thinks I'm somehow to blame in all of this, am completely overreacting by divorcing him, and his family will "be here to pick up the pieces" after I leave and "take care of him" - he's just a helpless lost soul, poor guy. And of course he's going to relapse, with all this stress I'm putting on him! Well, good for them. I just nodded, kept my mouth shut and bid my farewell. There's nothing I can say to make them think differently and really, what's the point?

I'm glad I know what I do now. It makes everything about next week (divorce hearing and me leaving) a lot easier. I get it now. There's a bit of a sting (ya know, he loves his addictions more than he loves me), but I do know without a doubt that I didn't cause it and no way can I control it or cure it. Time to just let him go and move on.