LS2 -
I'm glad you have posted all this... it reminds me that I have to be consistent with the "message" that my actions send. If I'm going to say something is inappropriate (boundary!!), the I need to be consistent in enforcing it. If I let is slide sometimes, and not others... no consistency.
Say what you mean, mean what you say... and follow through.
For years, I would say the drinking was unacceptable, and then I'd let it slide. I'd turn the other way and let things go. I'd say the drinking and driving was unacceptable (nevermind ILLEGAL!), but then go out with him and get in the car knowing damn well he'd been drinking.
Anyways... I'm glad that you called the cops and followed through. Good for you!