I have "SAME" type of question over and over in my head..
EXAMPLE: This is how I would approach it, if my husband was diagnosed with diabetes.
I would certainly research the diesase and find every cause,conditions.
It would help me understand, what Im suppose to be doing to change the way
I cook for him or what kind of doctors he would need or what medicine to take.
Not that I could fix him, just understand what Im dealing with...
This helped me alot:
Check out this website called: Getting them Sober
You can also watch some videos on there.
The website is not the most organized, but hunt around,
you will find some real treasures worth reading...
Enjoy!
THIS DESCRIBES EARLY SOBRIETY---------
In early sobriety --- the alcoholic's behavior in relation to the partner is largely not a "relationship issue'.
It's not akin to a couple who just have ''issues''.
The alcoholic's brain does not even begin to appear smooth, without the huge craters all over it--- from drinking alcoholically for years ---- UNTIL THE ALCOHOLIC / ADDICT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY SOBER FOR AT LEAST 12 MONTHS WITH NO RELAPSES.
Expecting consistently 'normal' relationship communication with the person in the early-stage of sobriety is unrealistic.
Things usually get somewhat better as time goes by.... but it takes up to 3 full years of TOTAL sobriety (drugs and alcohol free with no relapses) for the brain and central nervous system to be free and clear.
So-----it's not a matter of 'is he sober' when he really is sober. It's a matter of repairing the brain damage.... which is at the HEART of all behaviors/communications with an alcoholic//addict.
DRY DRUNK REFERS TO A PERSON WHO IS PAST THE STAGE OF EARLY SOBRIETY AND YET EXHIBITS STILL-DRINKING BEHAVIOR, WITHOUT ACTUALLY DRINKING.
That ''dry drunk'' person has NOT had a drink or drug------- but if the person stays sober/clean, he has a chance to get better emotionally and spiritually