I have to agree with Pandora's strategy - I did the same thing. I moved out last August and refused to come home unless he stopped drinking. He agreed, said he could, that he wasn't an alcoholic and could stop anytime and knew he was overdoing it...blah blah quack. This is when I found Al-Anon. I chose to believe him, moved back in and had a wonderful peaceful month that I thought was substance free. Well...he was smoking pot instead.
And I found his stash after a night drinking at my family's "birthday month" dinner, where he had one glass of wine, then the entire bottle, drove us home, smoked, passed out at the base of the toilet, leaving the pot container in the middle of the bedroom floor with some pot actually poking out the top. And it was 8pm. My teenagers were home. I took it and hid it. He woke up around midnight and trashed the house looking for "it" but wouldn't say what "it" was. I wouldn't tell, either. That's when he threw a remote control at me and bruised my arm. That's when I said "you are one hell of a f***ed up man" and he broke down. We had a few more weeks of this kind of back and forth stuff before he finally admitted this wasn't something he could control and agreed to go to AA. But then told those people I was making him go there.
We are now separated. But now I know the truth - this is alcoholism. I needed to know FOR CERTAIN and now I do. Sometimes it takes that.
Do continue to read, seek help for yourself, and consider Al-Anon. It helped me to stay sane through some serious insanity.
We're still married, though. And he's 120 days sober. Or so he says. But I don't care anymore! That's the joy in it all. Keep coming back!
~T