Old 03-22-2011, 07:33 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Babyblue
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Sounds like you are attempting to set boundaries for yourself, that is a good thing. But the reality of the disease is what you are up against. From what I've learned, it requires 100% commitment to recovery to make a difference.

The fact that she asked you permission is troubling for you because it is putting you in too powerful of a position. That is when co-dependency really takes hold. It is about HER making the right choices on her own, for herself, by herself.

You can be supportive which does go a long way in my opinion. She sees that you are able to live a happy, productive life without alcohol and that you enjoy her company sober. That sends a powerful message to her. But the message will never take hold if she isn't ready to quit.

Maybe reading up on what recovery is and the amount of work it takes will help you see the difference between 100% and 98%. That 2% can still be damaging. For example, it only takes one drunk night to make bad choices because she is intoxicated. Alcoholism is a 100% progressive affliction until they stop.

It is helpful to step back and see the bigger picture here and what you possibly are taking on. It helped me to get as much info as I could about the disease to know what I was taking on.
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