Dude. Dude.
Whatever it is about you that is considering staying in this relationship is worth looking into. Something
may be broken. I know I'm broken for sure.
Find the closest Alanon meeting. Then, keeping an open mind, go to at least six meetings, some different, before deciding if it is for you. Let me give you a hand:
How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico
It will help you understand why it is you would pursue a relationship under these circumstances and given these signs.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak