RECF

My father is an all day drinker who drinks to stop the shakes. I just left my husband and I'm staying in my parents' house as addicts and bank accounts tend to be bad friends.
I'm still recovering from the terror of my time spent with a binge drinker/drugger (he would keep me up at nights, banging on doors, yelling at me, etc...)
Can I post my story here, just to get it out. Was going to Al-anon meetings for a bit, but it's so hard to just YELL what you gotta say!
I spent four years with my husband and have been through so many indignities of what a relationship is supposed to be. I had almost given up on myself and was so close to being resigned, but luckily there was still something inside of me that was still alive.
I'm out, but I'm a mess.
I'm trying to rebuild, but so many things are making that difficult for me right now and then I'm feeling shame that I can't get it together now. I'm feeling conflicted about the relationship I had with my husband and am starting to think more critically about the relationship I have with my father. Will we ever be free?