Barb, Thank you, your words really helped. I have thought alot about that "line" it was crossed along time ago. Now I need to put it back in place.
Keepinon, You hit it so on the head. It is such a hard place to be. I have tried to fix everything she has screwed up with her drinking. Giving her money to stay afloat, lying for her to her clients and friends, and family. Calling every morning at 7 to make sure that my granddaughter was up and getting ready for school. Then when no one answered making a quick trip over there to grab the kids if she was still drunk, or passed out from a night of drinking. It just got to be too much, and so heartbreaking to go back over at noon and have her still drunk, and abusive if you tried to get her to get out of bed, and all of this on work days while her office stayed closed... So sad.
At least my granddaughters are safe now and being taken care of. That is such a huge relief. I felt like I couldn't stop enabling her or taking care of things because I was really doing it for her beautiful little girls safety and wellbeing. I don't call anymore, I don't go over at noon, I don't make up a big story about someone being sick or a dr's appt, to her clients if they call me wanting to know where she is... I just simply give them her cell phone # and tell them to call her.
I still love her with all my heart, but I am letting go. Last night she went to a friends, I know she drank, I know there is a chance that she drove home drunk again. I let it go, and got on with my life instead of calling her and making sure she was staying the night. I haven't checked this morning to see if she is at work. I am letting go. She will have to face the consequences of her actions herself. I can't help her anymore.
I hope she hits bottom, and decides to get help. But I have to keep telling myself that I can't control it, can't cure it, and didn't cause it. That is a wonderful quote. I have been repeating it over and over again.