Well if you don't want to drink why do you continue to pick up the bottle?
I am not trying to be a harda$$ here, but I found at least with myself that until I really took and active stance in my recovery I couldn't quit. Now consciously I wanted to quit bad, but subconscious I still longed for the drink. This made me feel like I was wishy washy at first, then it made me feel if I really had no power whatsoever over it. This killed me consciously, but I think it made my subconscious rather happy because I was still going to get my fix.
It wasn't until I started taking this recovery thing serious hour to hour then day to day before I was able to break the grasp it had on my subconscious.
If you really want to stop without the help of a major program, you have to work your own method hourly then daily then weekly, until not drinking becomes natural and prefered even subconsciously over drinking. Until you do this you will continue going back to the bottle, and when you aren't drinking you will really wish you were.