peacelove,
i wish i could wave a magic wand and take away your anxiety. it is very real, and can be extremely debilitating.
welcome back to s/r; i hope you find the encouragement and support you need.
the thing about worrying: it is not productive. it only keeps you spinning, and doesn't help the addict.
she will, or she will not, get it. if you can get yourself to believe that her path is hers to tread, perhaps that would help?
peace to you