Daughter an alcoholic
I have been reading and reading. I finally decided to post. As so many of you I am almost to the end. I just can't do this anymore. My daughter is an alcoholic, she is a 33 year old, single mom of 2 beautiful little girls. She has always had a problem when she drank, she never knew when to stop, but at least she didn't drink alot. Now she is drinking wine all night long at least 3 to 4 times a week. I have watched the progression over the last 2 years. She changes into someone that I don't even know. She is college educated, owns her own business, owns her own home. She has all the advantages, but is messing up so badly that it is just a matter of time that she loses it all. She doesn't go to work the day after she drinks. Her business is just closed. She doesn't care if she misses clients. She Lays on the couch all day, and does nothing with the girls. They just run around the house all day fending for themselves. Finally, their father stepped in, and he has custody of them for 4 months. Then it will be reviewed. I thought that would make her go get help, but she doesn't seem to care. She likes it better, she is glad, she knows they are better taken care of with him. She agreed to it without a fight.
She got a DUI a few weeks ago. She didn't blow, so she will not have a license for a year. She has no one to take her to and from work but me. I own my own business also, and I will give her rides, but she will have to be ready when I am leaving. I will not close to go get her at her convience. So therefore I have no doubt that she will be there even less.
She has made horrible choices in her last two boyfriends. The first one took her for 59,000 and because of it she is filing for a chapter 13 bankrupsy. The second one violently beat her and is going to jail for 18 years because of it. He almost killed her. It was horriffic, it is a miracle she is alive. I know she is horribly depressed. She can't even get off the couch except to drink. She is taking antidepressents, and has a therapist, but always cancels at the last minute.
Even with all of this, she still doesn't get it. She doesn't get that she has lost herself and that she is losing it all because of it.
It is so hard to sit her as her Mother and watch this progression spiraling downward. I have loaned her 13,000 to try to help her out. I refuse to do anymore enabling. The DUI, fixing her car, all of that I will not help with.
I have hit my bottom, and I can't do this anymore. She verbally abuses me when she is drunk, she seems to hate me. When she is sober, she needs me, depends on me, I am her best friend, until the next time she drinks. I am the only one that cares about her now. All her friends have left, they got tired of dealing with her drunken, abusive tirads.
I know I have to be done and let her hit bottom, even if that means she is homeless on the street. But how do I really do that. She is my daughter, I love her. I remember when she was a wonderful wife, mother, person.
This is a horrible disease. I just don't know how to stay strong and let her go. Please help me.