Interesting because this hits home for me, specifically the response saying that he's "hiding" it (poorly) because he doesn't want to hear you complain about it. My A has been going through the motions of recovery without committing to recovery, and while I've been flummoxed as to why he'd go to such great lengths, I think this is exactly it. He wants me to continue to do everything to keep the household running, and will do juuuuuust enough to keep me from complaining... short of quitting drinking once and for all.
Thanks for the discussion, folks.