Truth be told, how do you know he is sober? Are you with him 24/7?
Mine STILL claims a 3 month sobriety period. The max I have documented is 10 DAYS! Most of the time it's more like 3.
more than likely he is still drinking. I noticed a complete change in mine after the 10 day spell. And even that 10 days is generous. It may have only been 5. Regardless, history tells us all he is probably still drinking.
Try to remember:
It is futile to argue ANYTHING with an alcoholic. It is actually futile to argue with anyone, most of the time. But normal people will behave much more "normal". Alcoholics lash out, and divert attention. You can't even have a discussion with them. The don't listen, they hear what they want to hear, then they attack YOU to keep you on the defensive and off what ever it is YOU want to talk about. might this sound familiar?
I've heard all the crapola you list. It is just the delusion rantings of a madman. Really. That is all. don't waste your time. In fact, I suggest this: Give it back. This is hard for us to do. We don't think like this. But it is fun after you learn how. When he re-directs, counter with another re-direction. I used, "Give me back my sweater". I just blurted this out as soon as mine threw out a smoke screen or a pointless attack. it was great. I used this a hundred times. She never caught on. When she took the bait, with a "What are you talking about?" reaction I hit back with more nonsense. I'd say, "Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I want my darn sweater back. Today. You've had it too long". I never once gave her any details. I just kept accusing her of having my sweater. I don't even own any sweaters.
Try it. It's fun. Or try my favorite line for females; "I never did worry bout the little things", and just move one.
Really, you can't have a reasonable conversation with an unreasonable person. His behavior is unreasonable. So accept it. Lower your expectation to fit the reality at hand. Realize you can't do a darn thing about how he behaves.
the above sweater story is 100% true. Really. But it is better to just not talk to them anymore. Lawyer up, make him use email. Don't answer the phone, make him leave messages.
Read your last paragraph again. He "likes" you. He "lusts" for you. But you don't treat someone you love the way he treats you, in my opinion. He loves himself and does what he wants to do. You druthers are not important.
accuse him of taking your sweater. Report back.